Breathing

Breathing while my world crumbles
Breathing while I’m spinning
Breathing while you walk away
Breathing to make sure I’m still alive
In and out, expanding my lungs until they’re full as a check to ensure I am still alive
To make sure the pain isn’t too much
To make sure that the pain didn’t maim or permently alter me

I stood on the porch, and watched you laugh with our/your friends as my world crumbled. Joking about vicious koala bears only reminds me of being a koala, with you in bed. When the world was perfect and nothing could touch us.

Now, I wake up in the morning and all I can focus on is my breathing. In and Out. Making sure I am still alive. Funny, weeks ago I contemplated ending my life now I am doing all I can to hang on until I am no longer in limbo. The lights have been turned out in my cave and I am groping the walls amongst spiders and bugs for the exit.